Helping your toddler to choose Clothes at Children's Place Coupon

Learning to choose

Making decisions is part of growing up. Your child must learn to consider what she should do, rather than simply doing (or not doing!) what you say. You cannot leave many choices entirely to your child, though, because in these early days she will often make decisions that are bad for her health (like "deciding" only to clean her teeth once a week) or intolerable to you (like "choosing" to wear her party dress to school). The best way to provide decision-making practice within safe limits is usually to organise life so that your child is completely free to decide between carefully limited choices. She can clean her teeth now or after her story, or choose between the two dishes you are offering for supper.

Helping your toddler to make decisions

Even your toddler's own feelings are often still a mystery to him. It is not being sure what he feels now, combined with being unable to remember what he felt last time or predict what he will feel later, that makes some decisions so difficult for him. "Do you want to stay here with me or go to the shop with Daddy?" seems a simple and insignificant choice. But it is neither straightforward nor unimportant to the toddler. Which will he enjoy more? Which did he enjoy last time? Which does he feel like doing now? He does not and cannot know. He dithers and, whichever is finally chosen for him, he is miserable. He will have to learn to make his own decisions, of course; that's part of growing up. 

But he will learn faster and more happily if he practices on decisions where he has nothing to lose. If he has two sweets, "which are you going to eat first?" is a question he can consider without stress. He has them both. Nobody is going to take away the one he decides against. He can change his mind six sticky times if he pleases.

Choosing clothes

Parents are often surprised at how strongly children as young as three or four often feel about what they wear. It isn't only a question of developing clothes-sense but also of developing me-sense. Clothes are part of self-image, and of the image of self that is projected to the world. Who does your child feel like being, or want to be thought to be today? And if there is a group of children that is important in her life, how does she want to appear in that? 

Your child is not old enough to choose new clothes to buy or even to select which clothes to wear, but she is certainly old enough to be entitled to some say. It is her body, after all. Why should she present it dressed to someone else's taste? Try to offer her two or three outfits or garments that are all suitable to the occasion and acceptable to you, and let her choose freely amongst those. Try to play fair on the freedom front. If they are both OK in themselves, must you veto the scarlet top because she proposes to wear it with the orange trousers? 

A fuss over clothes is a wearing way to start the day. Your child may respond better to being given a choice of clothes for the morning before she goes to bed the night before. If a very limited choice doesn't work, you could try clearing all special occasion and out-of-season clothes away so that she can choose amongst the remainder. Sometimes it's less choice that is needed, and your child may happily settle for a sort of private uniform for weekdays, alternating two skirts and tights and sweatshirts. 

However you manage choice of clothes, make sure they are as easy as possible for the child to manage. Go for buttons or toggles she can cope with alone rather than slot-in zips which are difficult. Unless your toddler pleads for zip flies, stick to elastic-waisted trousers, shorts and skirts and buy shoes with Velcro fastenings when you can. Keep tiresome extras like gloves and hats to a minimum and sew on essentials so they do not get lost. 

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